The Wisdom of Want
On a recent coaching call the awareness of wanting was raised insofar as it can be accompanied by shame and a voice that says, “It is not okay to want”. Exploring, as we do in coaching, what this means to the individual, how this manifests in their life and what they want to do about it, we arrived at the shift away from the wounds that wanting may have created in the past into the “wisdom of wanting”. This idea that on some deep level if I want something, that voice of desire is really something to pay attention to. It may not be that I even want the thing I think I want, but can I get curious as to where that desire is stemming from?
Don’t get me wrong! Sometimes the thought “I want a hot shower” or “I want some grapes” is simply what it is. But sometimes, the “I want” can feel riskier, bolder, more daring than we are used to. What comes up in those moments?
For me, this is where play and exaggeration can come in handy (pun intended ;). In Nia each finger has symbolic power. The forefinger, pointer finger, is also called the ‘finger of desire’. I want, I point, I move towards the object of my desire! It is a powerful sequence—try it on for size. Right now, find something in your space, desire the action, point, and fulfill your desire. Here are some examples to help:
Look over at the couch, desire it and all that it offers you, point to it, and say “I want to lie there!” Then, do it!
What do you notice?
Here’s another one: Find something in your space that you like to touch, it could be the texture, the temperature, anything that attracts your desire to touch. Grow that desire in you, point to that source and act on it, saying “I want to touch ___!” Then do it!
What do you notice?
What about smell? Taste? Explore your desires through all five senses…
For me, what I notice when I establish the desire, look and point, say out loud, and then act on it… is this deeper satisfaction. I am taking the time while ‘in the act’ to acknowledge that my desire is fulfilled, I relax deeper, I savor deeper. It’s a beautiful thing!
I invite you to tap into the “Wisdom of Want” and satisfy your healthy desires, employing your ‘desire finger’ for emphasis, even exaggerating, getting big and dramatic with your body as you point, if that feels light and fun for you.
And when life’s bigger desires show up, welcome them into your heart without judgment or shame. Listen their wisdom, see if they are actually messengers of a deeper wanting, a deeper wisdom that you can grow towards fulfilling.
I invite you to listen to your body’s wants and act on the wisdom behind them.
P.S. Has this post made you curious about Nia? About coaching with me? If so, please be in touch! I’d love to speak with you about how I can help you at this time.